Bei einer solchen Schönheit ist Alaska nicht gerade der erste Ort, der einem in den Sinn kommt. Das sexy Jasmine Alleva, das bereits Ausgaben der Maxim’s zierte ist superheiß und stammt aus Anchorage in Alaska. Wir sind uns sicher, diese Frau ist die schärfste Frau des gesamten States. Viel Spaß!
the obstacle course our self esteem goes through over the years is revolting. some of us even puke. not me. i just restricted my food for two years, withering away into skin and bones covered by clothes i thought i was supposed to be wearing. i have three older brothers. growing up, i didn’t realize the societal stigma surrounding hand-me-downs. i wore lee pipes because my brother wore lee pipes and he was my motherfucking HERO. “boy clothes” were a staple in the closet until someone in seventh grade called them that. and then i, along with my self esteem, shrunk into a fitted tee and begged my broke mom to please splurge for clothes on the back table at abercrombie (y’all know the fucking struggle). around the same time, any pool party required two full speedo one pieces with two sports bras underneath (sometimes tape on my nipples) and board shorts. no one was allowed to see the lumbering tubby tub i was. by the time i had starved myself enough to give skeletor a run for his money, i found the perfect bikini. my first bikini. i bought it at the one store in alaska that actually sold bikinis. it was camo because i was 14 and really cool and it ruffled around my size 32aa boobies. as soon as i came out of the locker room, a comment echoed over the pool about my body. i ran back into the locker room. how could i ever be so stupid? more restricting, less eating. i was 5’9” and would remain that height into adulthood due to my lack of nutrition. at some point in the next year, i was raped in a junior boy’s basement after vodka was poured down my throat. depression took the wheel and i started eating again. the shit i hated about my appearance paled in comparison to the shit i hated about my lack of focus and overwhelming anxiety. and my body got bigger while my self esteem was beaten smaller by fists of a different beast. we all go through struggles with our appearance. too often we completely disregard all the beauty we have by letting comparison thief it away from us. you don’t dim just by looking at someone else’s shine. it took me a long time to learn this. our bodies are so capable and beautiful and it’s a fucking miracle we can lug these meat carcasses around
i think i heard my heart break today. or maybe it was so silent that the noise of my throat swelling up was audible. or maybe it was my jacket rubbing as my fingers reached to wipe the tear that hadn’t slid down my cheek yet. or there was a crack in the universe and everything i’ve been careful to avoid came barreling through. because when i said i wanted to go to hogwarts, i didn’t mean hogwarts. and i sure as fuck didn’t mean orlando. i meant somewhere, far from here, where maybe i could believe in magic again.
im back in my favorite la hotel so whatever, prepare for mirror pics because i put up with the pictures of your babies (AND I LOVE THEM, so don’t get me wrong). feeling extra lovey and appreciative today with more work and sunshine. people are too nice. homie at dick’s gave me a discount just because i’m going for the cavs like OKURRRR. how’s your weekend, babes?
since there are so many heartbreaking things in this world i cannot change, im going to try to refocus my energy. DOPE SHIT: hawaii being a state (even though the US pretty much pillaged it in order to do so), my family immigrating (yay! american dream, baby!), my dad retiring (hang it up, Ron. LEBRONS JERSEY IN 20 YEARS), women in the 1920s wearing skirts because it made this outfit cool, the US WOMENS HOCKEY TEAM COMPETING FOR GOLD TODAY (the men are out…), my dogs (sockeye has dog ALS so he’s basically Stephen hawking making him undeniably cooler but also pray for him please), my besty finishing nursing school, all the high school students walking out to protest gun violence, KIKKAN WINNING, travy’s tummy feeling better, sunshine, springtime being around the corner, and all of you being so supportive and loving. ADD YOUR DOPE SHIT BELOW. smoochies.
i have such a good feeling about 2018. i am beyond excited – have been and will continue to be. life is hard, but the fleeting joy is enough to wake up tomorrow and pour a cup of coffee. ✨💕 special love to @lizaboone and @cheyanne.makeup – two wonderful, brilliant women who bring light to the world (and who made this photo possible) 💕
ok, so there’s this SUPER SECRET (not secret at all) social app for the famous and quasi famous and randomly, my lowly model ass got on it. whatever. it hasn’t done much (anything) for me. but for a brief second, i was ENTHRALLED with this shit. like, ambitious guys with crazy schedules like mine? yes, please. and ill admit there were some dope ones, too. but the majority were just as lame (read: rude) as the flocks on bumble or tinder or your flavor of the week dating app. BUT i did match with michael che and had a mini heart attack, ok?! the provider of my saturday funnies for like, two years. i was all stoked wondering what he’d say and gearing myself up for a laugh because this man just became SNL’s head writer. “you’re pretty.” i melted, said thanks, then deleted the app. too much, ya know? // @amyhibbardphoto @artistrybycarmina
ah, this week has been tumultuous and it’s only wednesday (? i think?)… anyway, @mendobooks published a sick book that’s legitimately called #SENDNUDES and i’m in it courtesy of @bentsuiphotos which means y’all should buy it because you already know i’m getting one for my parents’ coffee table and another for my hope chest. #wishfulthinking #mendo #curated #thesehashtagsdontwork
i’ve been waiting for a UPS package all day and if the crackheads who camp in the woods stole it, maaaaan, someone’s getting hit by my car. on GOD, if i see anyone rocking my lingerie, its going down on sight. anyway, after the bumpy week, it’s back to work and life. i know that blessings abound and more will come. looking on the bright side. @cvongsawat (ps can we hang soon? where in the world are you?) and @bentsuiphotos made this magic. thanks 4 believing in me, guys! 💕
had some video fun with @themanuc a couple days ago ✨ and yes, i ripped this song off youtube and yes, i edited this MYSELF, so if you say anything nasty, you’re getting thunderkicked in the neck. ok, good. love you ALL. (Addendum: I don’t know how to fix the damn quality when posting on Instagram so if any of you know, dm please)